Wednesday, September 23, 2009

“I always take no for an answer…”

Somebody famous, or maybe it was just a friend, once said: “The most effective way to get something is to ask for it.” This, of course, is so unbelievably obvious and straight-forward, it never occurs to me. I hate asking for things.(Unless, I’m at a bar or in a restaurant.) And it’s not because I’m afraid of being rejected. I’ve been rejected so many times in my life, it’s like oil off a duck’s back. (Kidding about the oil.) No. It’s because I’m terrified of making people uncomfortable. I imagine them squirming, panicking, desperately trying to figure out a gentle, tactful way to turn me down. Sometimes, in fact, I imagine their discomfort and panic so vividly and painfully, I actually come up with the perfect thing to say to me in order to turn me down. All before I’ve even asked for something. How fucking crazy is that? Anyway, where am I going with this? I’ll tell you where I’m going. I’m going to pick up the laundry.

Posted by Brenda in 21:49:26

2 Responses to ““I always take no for an answer…””

  1. Ken says:

    The direct approach can be rewarding. What you aren’t figuring in is the fact that giving someone something they want may make your day as well as theirs. It does happen. For example: a woman I had been acquainted with asked me to attend a party her friend was throwing. I did and it turned out to be a very happy time. That woman is now my wife.

    Otherwise I’d say it depends upon the circumstances. One should be careful about asking friends for anything. If you do, and it’s really a favor, then understand that. Have you ever thought that maybe you are worried about feeling obligated.

    As a rule, one should never ask professionals for freebies. There is a special exception for family, provided one doesn’t take advantage. A friend can a accept a freebie from a professional friend, but this must be the professional’s idea.

    Your habit of giving a person a graceful turndown line is different. My question is: what do you do when people ask you for things? Just asking.

  2. Brenda says:

    As a rule, I give without being asked. I like giving. It comes pretty naturally. It’s intriguing, tho…the thought I might not ask others for things because I don’t want to feel obligated… I’ll have to think about it.

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